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Bad days...

Discussion in 'Fun Stuff' started by Mr FlUfF, Jun 20, 2009.

  1. Mr FlUfF

    Mr FlUfF Registered

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    Enjoy!
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    Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I\'m allergic to.


    Today, I got hypnotized at my school\'s variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor.


    Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider.


    Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon.


    Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play \"Let\'s call the whole thing off.\"


    Today, the girl I am in love with invited me to stay with her in Europe for 2 weeks, she is even paying for the flights and accommodation. It\'s because I am such a special friend to her and she wants me to come up to meet her fiance before she gets married.


    Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people\'s names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes.


    Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, \"You need to shave that shit.\"


    Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face.


    Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he\'d fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and balls area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint.
     
  2. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

  3. Doelwit

    Doelwit Registered

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  4. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    lol the last one happened to me as well, only in my case he was 16 years old and faked a heart attack...
     
  5. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    pwnd nub :p
     
  6. Anonymous

    Anonymous Guest

    You startled the witch...
     
  7. Killvion

    Killvion Registered

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    lol pwned idd xD

    funny quotes :p