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What if? (No, not the Sodding movie)

Discussion in 'Fun Stuff' started by Sloth, Aug 29, 2014.

  1. Sloth

    Sloth Registered

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    Say you Murdered someone on Accident, (Whoops i fell into him 30 times with a Knife in my Hand) and you had to Hide the Body, Where would you Put it, or how would you Dispose of it? not that im a Homicidal Murderer....yet....

    I think i would Tie a Cinderblock to The corpses leg and Sail into the Middle of the Ocean and dump it... nobody would find it there... aleast for a Couple of years

    (Please dont ban me for this post, im just bored and thought about this sort of Stuff because Televison)
     
  2. rswallen

    rswallen Wizzard

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  3. Echo

    Echo Registered

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    Chop up the body in the bathtub, take the bones out, grind the meat, add onions and exotic spices, fry on a pan and enjoy your meal. I recommend rice on the side.

    The bones you have to break up and burn in a fire, or carve utensils and such and claim you got it from an exotic tropical shop of oddities.
     
  4. rswallen

    rswallen Wizzard

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    Sloth - Watches too much "Dexter"
    Echo - Watches too much "Hannibal"
     
  5. Echo

    Echo Registered

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    Be sure to eat the liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
     
  6. DataStorm

    DataStorm Registered

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    Warning: describing methods will indicate intent and would upgrade your "manslaughter" to murder in the first degree.

    (watched too much "The Closer")
     
  7. Waffle

    Waffle Registered

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    You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

    And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

    (I watched "Snatch" a little too much)
     
  8. Zano0

    Zano0 Registered

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    NSA comes for a visit:

    [​IMG]
    _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Personally I would do the job so clean that there is no need to hide the body.
     
  9. Jer9

    Jer9 Registered

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    Buy a few big plastic containers and acid.
    Put the body in the acid filled containers and watch the body dissolve.
    note to self: dont use bathtube as container.
     
  10. Yolbe

    Yolbe Registered

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    There was actually a dumg guy who asked SIRI where to hide the body AND SIRI gave him couple of advices !!!! (facepalm)
    One suggestion was to hide the dead body in a swamp....

    *insert plot twist here*
    He got caught and his mobile phone got a big evidence for the judgement LOL. (EXTREM FACEPALM)

    So I double dare you to ask SIRI hehe